


We'll make it right for you

by MidgardianNerd



Series: The war who wasn't their [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, M/M, Prince Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-27
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2019-01-23 22:01:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12517520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidgardianNerd/pseuds/MidgardianNerd
Summary: "When a son gives to his father, both cry."_ William Shakespeare





	We'll make it right for you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [idrilhadhafang](https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Rise of a Prince](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12228048) by [idrilhadhafang](https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang), [MidgardianNerd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidgardianNerd/pseuds/MidgardianNerd). 



> It took me 6 hours to write this and I was up all night to finish it. So excuse me if there are mistakes. I'm literally sleeping on my feet.

Brave. That was how people were describing him. The legendary Solo bravado. He let them thinking that. It was making them feeling safe. To know that nothing could afraid their King. Any battle, any enemy, any disaster. He was a rock facing the storm. He was King Solo, the bravest soldier who offered to them freedom.

But Han Solo, it was something else. Han was able to be afraid. Han had been afraid for the three last decades of his life. He was assaulted by monsters from the past, haunting his mind at every step he was doing every day. He was haunted by ghosts of fallen friends, eaten by guilt. He was attacked by nightmares, every night. And nobody knew a damn thing about this. Because Han learned to control his fear. He learned to deal with nightmares, to not show that he was fearing to go to sleep. He learned to hide Han Solo behind King Solo.

But today, at this right moment, he didn't know anymore how to do that. How to still appear as the brave King Solo. Not when his worst nightmare, the one he would never be able to get rid of, was happening, there, in front of him, before the whole royal court. And he never thought that from all the enemies he had fought against, it would be a simple letter, a little piece of paper which would brang him to his knees and having him at its mercy.

 

The missive was from Poe Dameron and Han was not really paying attention, thinking it was another spying report to know how Ben was handling his first steps in his royal role. That Poe never sent this kind of things before didn't even alarm Han. For what other reason Poe would write to Leia ? And then he heard it. There was another reason for Poe Dameron to write to them. Ben, his son, his smart boy had been hurt. He was far away from their home, from him, fighting to stay alive and Han wasn't there to protect him. He failed. Again. Han failed his son and he could already feel the fire in his chest, his blood boiling in his veins, the need to fight, to scream, to make someone pay. And even Poe assuring them that the physician said Ben would survive couldn't destroy the fear which was mauling Han's heart.

 

Leia was already standing in her all glory. Han could see her eyes screaming in pain but her face not showing anything. He could see the anger in her jaw. He could see the mother under the royalty. But he already knew that the Queen would win over the mother. And Han already knew that he would not like what would follow.

 

« Bring him back ! » she said in a stern voice than nobody in court was ready to opposite. « Go to the camp and bring him back. He has nothing to do on a battlefield. »

 

Han could see a lot of counsellors nodding to this last statement and his blood got cold. No matter how much he wanted his son to be safe in their home, at his side, he wouldn't let them be right. He wouldn't let them humiliate his dear boy. Not again. Not anymore. He failed to protect him physically. But he would not fail Ben in his honor. That was now his part to take care of the future of Ben.

King Solo stood. At everyone's surprise. King Solo never involved himself in political matters before. He walked, thunder in his eyes, blasting everyone around him. Everyone was silent, speechless and even if she was standing few steps higher than him, Queen Organa could felt herself shrinking under her husband furious glance. Han has always been impulsive but also always careful to oppose Leia in private, to not diminish her power front of an audience.

 

« Do you trust him ? » asked loudly Han, his chin up in a defiant stance.

« Don't be ridiculous Han. » answered Leia, already feeling the anger to be juged by her husband on questions he didn't understand the importance.

« I'm not. » groaned Han. « That's a real question. »

« We will talk about this later Han. » said Leia, already dismissing Han 's behavior behind her Queen persona.

« I want an answer Leia. » stated Han. « I want an answer now. »

 

Leia looked at her husband, angry for him to have chose this moment, when her son was in a critical state for away of her kingdom, to confront her about this issue. He hadn't the right to ask her that, he hadn't the right to trample her authority like that. He gave that to Ben. Both men were able to get under her skin and to make her furious. None of them understood what being royalty meant. And that was why Ben left like a thief in the middle of the night to go to fight a war which wasn't their. That was why he got hurt. Because he couldn't think straight for a minute. Always letting his emotions controling him.

 

« You want an answer Han ? » she asked, her chin up too, ready to fight back.

« Yes. And an honest one. Not one of this diplomatic bullshit answer that you affectionate so much. » answered her husband.

« I can't trust him. » said Leia without any hesitation and she could her husband flinching for a second, the anger in his eyes letting the place to hurt. But the fire was back soon and Leia didn't let him time to attack her back. « He doesn't know what he is doing. »

« You want for him to act like a prince but when he is doing right, you blame him for that. » said Han, the tension in his jaw becoming worse.

« He isn't behaving like a prince Han ! » shouted Leia, feeling the crowd around them shrinking front of the raise of their Queen's voice, something which were never happening. « He is behaving like a child who thinks that war is a game. »

« Do you know him so badly ? Do you really think so less of our Ben ? » asked Han, his voice shaking almost inaudible. « He is doing what he thinks is right. »

« He did that only to undermine my authority. » claimed the Queen, the irritation showing on her face.

« You can't believe that the truth Leia. You can't. » laughed bitterly Han. « You can't understand that our son has his own ideas, his own beliefs ? That not everything he does is because of you ? That he is his own person ?»

« But he is not. » shouted again Leia. « He is the future of this kingdom. »

« If you were really think that Leia, you should have behave like you believe it. If you had taken the time to really observe him, you would have known that he is ready. » And from the corner of his eye, Han saw the young Benjen and his father sharing a look. « If you hadn't take every opportunity to disrespect him, to treat him like a child front of your court, of his future court, maybe he would haven't felt the need to risk his life to earn the respect of his people. » finished Han with fierceness flooding his voice.

 

Leia stayed silent, feeling years of resentment from Han hitting her hard. How did he dare to reproach to her all these things ? How did he dare to blame her for how she had treat Ben when Han spent years unable to look at their son right in his eyes ? She has been the only one there when Han was fleeing his responsabilities. He had no right to question her education of Ben.

 

« You don't understand Han. » she said coldly. « He is my heir, my son- »

« You never let me forget that Leia. » answered bitterly Han. « But let me remind you something Your Majesty. » he added. « He is mine too. »

 

And with these last words, King Solo left the throne room in a loudly silent.

 

* * *

 

Poe felt his body being sore with the aftereffects of the battle and the exhaustion of few nights without a proper rest. Poe knew he should try to get as much sleep as possible. The enemy was still there and even if the exposure to have a magician as strong as Ben against them made them fleeing the battlefield the first time, Poe wasn't an idiot. Their enemy was already planning a new attack. But Poe couldn't let Ben being alone. He has been fighting death for the last three days and Poe has been at his side. Because he couldn't let his prince being alone or being at the mercy of anybody. Poe knew that even on their side, a lot of people were afraid of magic and Ben was in danger. What people couldn't understand made them dangerous.

Poe was outside the Prince's tent. He needed fresh air and the chilly morning was doing wonder to his tiredness. That was when he saw it. A dark shape appearing in the fog. A man on an horse. Soon he was front of him and Poe lost his words before bowing front of his King.

 

« King Solo. » whispered Poe, not trusting his eyes.

« Where is he ? » asked the older man, the worry obvious in his voice.

 

Poe felt warmth spreading in his chest. He remembered his talk with Ben on the hill upon the river. When Ben confessed to him his despair to be just a memory for his father. To see from his own eyes that King Solo, Ben's father, did a so long trip, alone, just to be there for his injured son. It made Poe proud and full of love for his King. And impatient to bring him to his son, to see the happiness on Ben's face when he would realize that he was wrong.

 

« Follow me Your Majesty ! » whispered Poe before entering in the tent behind him.

 

* * *

 

He could felt the coldness spreading in his whole body when his eyes laid on the empty bed. He was there. Few minutes earlier his beautiful prince was there, immobile in his sleep. Poe could felt the fear taking possession of him. Ben was missing. And the enemy was so close. What if they abducted him ? How they have been able to take him from Poe without Poe realizing it ? Poe was supposed to protect his prince and he failed. He failed on the battlefield when he promised to be at his side and then Ben got badly hurt. And he failed now. He promised to Ben that his father would have his son back and now that he was there, Ben was missing.

Poe could hear someone calling for him in the background. But he couldn't respond. War was trying at all cost to take Ben from him and Poe was powerless to do something against that. He was rudely shoving against the wood pillar at the center of the tent and soon he could see the face of his king extremly closer to his own.

 

« You need to calm down Poe ! » said Han with a stern voice, searching for the brown eyes of the knight to focus on him. After few seconds, Poe nodded. « Alright ! Ben is somewhere in this camp. I need your help to find him. »

 

Poe nodded again and Han released him. Then both men got out of the tent and were walking fastly through the camp, looking for the tall figure of Ben. The camp was still almost empty, everybody healing their wounds or getting some rest. The first battle has been awful. They had lost so many soldiers, so many friends. Everybody was fearing a new fight but everbody knew that it was inescapable. It would come sooner than expected. Ben could have gone anywhere. They needed help.

 

« Michael ! » shouted Poe and the man stopped his walk, surprised to be called by the knight. They couldn't stand each other but both decided to have a truce after Ben got hurt. They were switching turn of duty at Ben's bedside.

« What do you want Dameron ? » asked Michael, still suspicious in Poe's presence.

« Ben is missing. »

« What ? » groaned Michael. You were supposed to keep on eye on him Dameron. » accused Michael.

Poe was ready to defend himself when the deep voice of King Solo was heard.

 

« My son is missing. He is hurt, it's cold out there and he might be bleeding to death right now. » groaned the king. « So I don't have fucking time to loose with your bullshit. » added Han, his face sticking at Michael and Poe's faces.

 

Both men nodded and Michael soon joined them to find the missing prince. They were still searching through the camp when Poe saw Rose running towards him.

 

« Poe ! »

« Rose ! What happens ? » asked Poe, worried. It wasn't usual for Rose to look so worried, not wearing her usual smile which was always filling their hearts with hope.

« The Prince ! » she said, out of breath.

« Where is he ? » asked King Solo, a little bit rude but Rose didn't take offense of it.

« He is on the battlefield. » she said and everybody felt the chilly morning air seeping through their skin until it reached their bones.

 

King Solo was running even before Rose finished her sentence. If he hadn't be so worried, Poe would have felt impressed to how fast a man of this age could run. But Poe knew how love could be the greatest strength and there wasn't no doubt at how much the king was loving his son. King Solo, Poe, Michael and Rose stood on the hill upon the battlefield. Han could felt the fear in his heart, awful memories overwhelming him. It had been thirty years since the last time he was on a battlefield, thirty years since the last time he saw many bodies strewing the floor, lifeless. He froze, unable to take another step, feeling nauseous at the idea to see empty eyes looking at him, judging him for being alive.

But then he saw it. A tall figure, dressed in a white gown, almost transparent, the sun of dawn revealing a broken body walking haggard through the fog. Han felt the tears in his eyes. His son, his boy, his Ben was standing on his two feet, breathing. He was alive. Han ran to join him and he could heard three pairs of feet following him.

 

* * *

 

 

Poe saw King Solo slowing down the nearer they got to Ben. Poe grabbed a sword from a fallen soldier on the floor and he could see Michael doing the same. They were still on a battlefield, the enemy could still shot them with arrows from their own camp and who knew ? If they had guards checking the battlefield, they could have seen the magician walking, defenseless, and they could have decided to come to him, to kidnap or to kill him. Ben was in danger here. Too much for Poe. Rose got the good idea to grab a shield and three of them were scanning the horizon, looking for any sign of a threat for the King and his son.

 

« Ben ! » whispered Han, not wanting to afraid Ben, recognizing this strange walk from people who were haunted by terror.

 

The young man turned around and looked at his father. Han felt his heart breaking. Tears were rolling on his son's cheeks and his lips were shaking with sobs. There was blood on his hand and on his gown. He could see these beautiful huge dark eyes getting bigger and soon fear was filling his boy's face.

 

« No. No no no no no no no ! » sobbed Ben, shaking violently his head before scratching his face, like to pull off his eyes.

« Ben stop ! » shouted Poe in his back and Han ran at his son's side, grabbing his wrists in his hands to prevent him to do more damage. But his son was refusing to look at him, closing his eyes and still crying his denial.

« Hey kiddo ! » whispered again Han, looking for this dark look he loved so much. But Ben was still not looking at him. « Look at me. I'm right here. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. »

« You shouldn't be here. » cried his son, finally opening his eyes.

 

Han was sure that it would be a picture which would never leave his nightmares now. The eyes of his son, finally having lost their innocence, full of tears and blood all around them. The war was trying to take his son and Han was powerless to avoid it. So Han did a thing he didn't do for years. Something he hadn't realize how much he missed it. He put his forehead against his son's. And that was when Ben lost it. The boy collapsed in his arms and Han pulled him against his chest, wanting to protect him from eveything like when he was just a baby.

 

« I'm sorry. » whispered Ben. « Please forgive me ! I beg you to forgive me. » he cried.

« I get you kiddo ! I get you ! » whispered back Han, feeling like someone was stabbing him through his spine at every new tear falling from his son's eyes.

 

Poe was near him with a worried look and also full of pain and Han never felt closer to his wife's knight than at this moment. He felt his heart full of gratitude to have him here with Ben. Han wouldn't might be as observant as his son, he nevertheless saw Poe being different with Ben than everybody else at the court. Poe made a sign for them to move on. They were still in danger there. Han nodded and without even thinking about it, he carried his son in his arms.

 

* * *

 

 

The way back to the camp took them longer and Han wasn't expecting his son to be so heavy. These few weeks at the war changed him physically too. Poe and Michael offered to him to carry Ben instead of him but Han refused. It was his son. He was there now to protect him. He carried Ben all his life. When he was a baby and Han was singing to him to sleep. When he was a child and afraid of monsters in the dark. Even when he was a teen and Han & Chewie had to get him out of the hole he fell into. He had carried Ben all his life. And even if it had been years since the last time, it was still his father role.

Han knew he was stubborn. They needed to get out of the battlefield as soon as possible and Poe and Michael were in better sharpe to carry his son away from the threat. But to feel Ben's weight in his arms, it meant he was right there where he belonged.

They walked across the whole camp. Everybody looking at them. Surprised to see King Solo there. Even more to the magician in his arms. Han could heard the whispers on their way. It wasn't new. Everybody was always talking on Ben's way. Han couldn't count anymore the number of times he saw Ben flinching because he heard someone criticizing him and Han couldn't count the number of times he had been proud of Ben to just get his chin higher in answer. Ben was only asking for people to love him. Ben was made for people loving him. So when did everything get so fucked up ? When his son felt the need to look like a arrogant man to not show how much hurt he was by these people ?

 

* * *

 

Han entered in the tent before laying down his son on the bed. Poe was already putting the blanket back on Ben's body. Ben was moaning, the warmth after so many minutes in cold air hurting him. Han was already leaving his coat, cursing himself to have not wrap his boy in it at the second he saw him, and put it upon the blanket. Then he kneeled at Ben's side, already undressing him to look at his son's injury. It was an impressive wound starting from his shoulder to the middle of his chest. And it was bleeding. Han grabbed a cloth and soaked it in cold water.

 

« We should get the physician. » said Michael.

« I already have been at war boy ! I know what I'm doing. » groaned Han, already cleaning the blood from Ben's skin. Ben hissed in pain and Han looked up at his son's face but he was already dazzing between sleep and consciousness.

« You can leave us ! » claimed Han once the wound was cleaned.

 

Three of them were reluctant to leave but they obeyed after all.

 

« Poe ! Stay ! »

 

Poe saw Michael throwing him a dark glance and Rose a worried one before he turned around to face his king. But King Solo wasn't looking at him. He was already going through the physician's material that he left here after the last time. Once he found what he was looking for, the king kneeled back at his son's side and he began to pierce with a needle the skin of Ben to stitch the wound. Ben was whining in pain and Poe didn't even think before going on his knees to the other side of the bed and taking Ben's hand in his own, letting him crushing it to release a little of his suffer.

King Solo was working as fast as it could be done to be efficient and Poe looked at these hands trying to fix their own flesh. The King's eyes weren't leaving the task at his hands except for looking up at his son's face when he whined louder than before. Poe could see the king focusing on the wound but his mind already catching him up with the fear and the guilt. When it was over, Poe could felt the pressure on his hand decreased and the King took a new fresh cloth to put it on his son's forehead. And that was finally when Ben became silent that King Solo let a deep sigh leaving his lips. Poe watched him dropping his forehead next to Ben's shoulder and his knuckles becoming white because he was gripping too hard the border of the bed.

 

« Why did he ask me to forgive him ? » whispered Han and Poe took few seconds to realize he was asking that to him. He raised his head up and Poe's eyes got captured by intense blue eyes, shining with tears.

« Ben wouldn't want for me to tell you. » answered Poe, looking away, feeling uncomfortable to witness the unsufferable pain of a man he always thought to be invincible.

« Poe ! Tell me. Please. »

« Your Majesty- »

« I'm not asking you that as your King. Or as the husband of your Queen. I'm asking you that as the father of Ben. He needs me and I can't help him if I don't know why he suffers so much. » said Han, his voice clear and posed, like never Poe heard him before, more used to the grunts of his King.

 

Poe looked at Ben. He didn't want to betray the trust he finally earned from his prince. But he knew that his king could do something for Ben. Han could finally put Ben's soul at ease with his support, his love and trust.

 

« He wants to protect you. » finally admitted Poe, caressing Ben's hand with his thumb.

« From what ? » exclaimed Han, trying to figure out this nonsense.

« From war. » answered Poe, looking straight into his king's eyes.

 

Han felt silent. War. Again. This damn war which stole so many of his friends from him. War which stole his sanity. War which was trying to steal from him the only reason he was still fighting his black thoughts. War destroying again and again young men who had the life front of themselves.

 

« You never came back. »

« What ? »

« You never really came back from the last war. You are still there. At every suspect sound, at every sudden move, you're back there. » said Poe, his calm voice bringing bad memories to Han. « Ben lived with your war Sir ! He had for the last thirty years. He had seen how broken you are. He had seen how unable you are to live fully. Not for yourself. Not for your wife. Not for him. »

 

Han stood in a jolt. He could felt the pain winding around his heart and tightening stronger at every breath.

 

« He didn't want this war to come to you and to destroy you more than you already were. » finished Poe, his eyes finally leaving Han's.

 

Han was shaking with fury. All of it against himself. He was a fool. All these years, he thought he had managed. He thought he had managed to hide his pain. But not to his son. Not to the only one he really wanted to protect at all costs from war. His boy, his smart boy looked at him and he saw how much his father was broken. When sons were supposed to look up at their fathers and taking pride in how invincible they were, his little one looked at him and just saw how his father was a coward, not able to heal for him. Ben lived all these years thinking that he wasn't enough.

 

« Don't be angry against him Sir ! » whispered Poe, worried.

« The only person I hate here Poe is myself. » groaned Han, before letting slipping a sigh. So Poe saw him falling to his knees, like he was finally giving up after years of a fight. « I did everything to protect him from this mess. Everything to be sure he would never be confronted to this nightmare. And yet I'm the reason he is here. » said Han, covering his son's hand with one of his own.

 

Poe didn't get the opportunity to answer, to try to comfort his king. Ben was moaning and both men could see these beautiful brown eyes fluttering. Han's hand was in Ben's hair, petting his hair and the king brang his forehead against his.

 

« I'm so sorry my boy ! » whispered Han.

« Dad ? » mumbled Ben, lost.

« You don't have to prove anything. To anyone. »

« I do my duty. As a prince. And as a son. » said weakly Ben but sternly, not wanting for anyone to doubt him.

 

Han stepped back a little and looked in his son's eyes. Then his hand slipped on Ben's cheek, caressing the new scar under his right eye. Poe saw Ben closing his eyes for a second too long, enjoying the affection from his father.

 

« Kiddo ! Don't do that. Not for me. » said Han, his voice with the same fierceness than the one in his son's voice. « I don't deserve you giving your life for mine. »

« I have to do all I can to protect you. » whispered Ben, already feeling awful to have disappointed his father. « You deserve peace and- »

« You don't have to save me Ben. » shouted Han, his face at few inches from Ben's. « You don't have to save me. Because you already had. »

« Wh...what ? » breathed Ben.

 

And Han hated himself more after hearing this. There was so much doubt in this little word. Like Ben couldn't really believe that he mattered so much for his father. No child should doubt to be loved by his parents. But then Han didn't succeed to assure that to his son. So Han did what he should have done all those years ago. He hugged his boy.

Poe looked at Ben hanging on his father's embrance and burrying his face in King Solo's neck. The prince was shivering and his father was getting him closer of his chest, burried him deeper in his arms. He was finally doing something right for his son.

 

« I don't want the war to win Ben. I don't want the war to steal from me the only person who saved me from her the first time. » whispered Han, caressing his son's hair. « Stay alive. Don't let this war destroying you. Don't make the same mistakes than me. If you learn from mine, at least my regrets will be more bareable. Come back to me. Come back to me and we will have won.»

 

Ben didn't answer but he raised his head and his eyes crossed Poe's teary eyes. They shared a long look, Ben asking to Poe if it was real, if after almost thirty years he finally got what he always wanted. Poe smiled brightly to him, to confirm him that it was time to let go the shadows of the past. Ben nodded before burying again his face in his father's shoulder. Poe looked at them a last time before leaving them, enjoying to see the end of a war in the middle of another one. A victory at once.

 

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr: @midgardiannerd


End file.
